this page was updated on 2014.08.14 @ 23:51:11 CDT

My Wife is Too Sexy!
by Dave Navarro
FHM - December 2004

I love Carmen Electra. She's my wife and my best friend. She is also the hottest woman in the world. And being married to the hottest woman in the world presents challenges that most guys don't ever have to deal with.

Like when Carmen and I go to a strip club. It's not only th emen of the world who find my wife sexually attractive--women want her too. All the dancers in the club will come up to her, sit on her lap and ask to get photos taken with her. I may as well be a doorknob. I get no love. I get shoved out of the way so that people can get close to her.

When you're married to the world's most desirable woman, you also have to spend a lot of alone time. Carmen's always off shooting a movie or something for TV. When she's gone, you can find me at home playing Metal Gear Solid or Grand Theft Auto on my PlayStation. That, or masturbating to pictures of my wife in magazines. She doesn't mind that. It doesn't bother me that other guys might want to do the same thing, either. That's men. We all think and we fantasize--myself and my wife included. You have to walk through a marriage with faith. I trust her and she trusts me. She knows I'm a huge flirt. Thing is, I don't get flirted with very much anymore because 99 percent of women are terrified of Carmen. They think they can't live up to her because she's so hot. It's like you or me flirthing with Jennifer Aniston. She's got Brad Pitt--what can you bring? If I want to flirt, I have to push to make it happen.

Carmen and I have incredible sex. We always have. But, like any other couple who's been married for four years, there are times when one of us isn't in the mood. When that's her, and I'm horny, I feel like a starving man looking through the window of a bakery. Maybe other guys feel like that wehn their wives aren't in the mood, but looking at Carmen is like not eating for a week and standing on the streets of Paris looking at the finest pastries known to man.

Carmen also belittles me in public. She has a Coca-Cola addiction--she's always telling me to go grab her a Coke, like I'm her little servant. But that's cool: when you're submissive to Carmen Electra, it's the sweetest S&M you can imagine. And ultimately I get to have sex with her, so it's cool. I'll get that Coke.