this page was updated on 2014.08.14 @ 23:51:32 CDT

Movies and Crap
Lions, suicide, kidnapping, and Buscemi. The Navarro Brothers have proven once again that cinema is our niche.
by Dave and Johnny Navarro
Bikini - #? [I previously had labeled this as being from April 1997 but I'm pretty sure that it's not--once I break my stuff out of storage I should be able to clear this up]

The Ghost And The Darkness
Stars Val Kilmer and Michael Douglas

Dave: John, I can't believe how incredibly racist this movie's title is.

Johnny: What do you mean?

Dave: Come on, are you kidding me? The Ghost And The Darkness? Hello? It all takes place in Africa? Why don't they just come right out and put Spook Show in bold letters on the marquee of the Chinese Theater?

Johnny: Oh, my're right!

Dave:'s all racial...racialist.


Romeo & Juliet
Twentieth Century Fox presents a Seventeenth Century Drama updated for the '90s. Written by William Shakespeare.
Stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Daines, John Leguizamo, Paul Sorvino, and Brian Dennehey

Dave: I loved this film.

Johnny: Visually, it was outstanding.

Dave: Great sets...great art direction...great acting.

Johnny: But...I had some problems with it.

Dave: That's only because you're a pretentious actor guy.

Johnny: Yes...I have some...concerns...I mean...when it's Shakespeare....

Dave: I think Shakespeare would've loved it!

Johnny: I think it's safe to say that he'd had loved Leonardo...literally.

Dave: Literally?

Dave & Johnny: Homo & Juliet!


A Heist Film

Dave: (on phone to Johnny from New York) Hey man, I just got back from a screening of this film Palookaville.

Johnny: How was it?

Dave: It was all right...I spent some time with my girlfriend in the ladies' room of the movie theater...during this "pretty people" party after the know, "Fashion Week" and all.

Johnny: What do you mean? You "spent some time" with her?

Dave: She digs that kind of thing.

Johnny: I suppose next time I see you, you'll be behind plate glass?

Dave: Well, beneath it anyway...

Johnny: Just stop it! How was that Vincent Gallo kid? I hear he's one of the "ones to watch."

Dave: Well, my girlfriend certainly thinks so. (sigh) But as much as I hate to say this...I actually think he's really great in this picture.


Trees Lounge
A Live Entertainment Release
Written, directed by, and starring Steve Buscemi.
Also starring Daniel Baldwin, Mimi Rogers, Carol Kane, Debbie Mazar, Rockets Redglare and that Chloe girl from Kids

Dave & Johnny: Tree Thumbs Up!


Jingle All The Way
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad

Dave & Johnny: Finally, a film worthy of the immense comedic talent that is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Not since Kindergarten Cop have we laughed this hard and long. Although its title rings thoughts of Yuletide pleasure. This Capra-esque tale is a delight to be enjoyed by every member of the family year-round. Not unlike It's A Wonderful Life, Jingle employs the familiar themes of the holiday season but only to create a textured palette on which to unfold a side-splitting comedy. Jingle All The Way will no doubt "deck the halls" with laughter and fill theaters nationwide this Christmas. It's one "Ha-Ha Holly" after another as Arnold and Sinbad vie for the same Christmas gift in a slapstick conflict which is Santa-stic! Don't let anyone tell you this movie is Sin-Bad, take it from Dave & Johnny, this movie is sure to Jingle All The Way To The Bank!


Imagine Entertainment Presents A Ron Howard Film

Dave: They should've called this movie Handsome.

Johnny: Right, because Mel Gibson is so fucking handsome. You know, it's interesting, because I've often been told how closely I resemble Mel Gibson.

Dave: Don't you mean, Mel Torme? John, let's just talk about Renee Russo for a minute or twenty.

Johnny: Again? I know, I love her...

Dave: I just think that she is extremely talented.

Johnny: She was featured prominently in this film.

Dave: I would marry her over the phone.

Johnny: Isn't that a little...impulsive?

Dave: It would be different.

Johnny: That's what I say every time I eat a pizza...

Dave: Renee Russo...Renee Navarro...Mrs. Navarro...Mrs. Navarro, your husband, David is on the phone. Mrs. Navarro, we're ready to light you for your close-up...

Johnny: Dave...

Dave: Renee? I'm sorry I can't meet you on the set today...I'm accepting a couple of Grammys...

Johnny: David...

Dave: And the Oscar goes to...Renee Navarro!

Johnny: (shouting) David! Jesus man, I thought I lost you there for a minute...

Dave: I'm sorry, John, I was just thinking...yeah, the movie...Ransom...y'know, I think it was during my tenth or twelfth viewing that I noticed that kidnapping thing. By the way, have you seen Tin Cup?


Nick Of Time
Stars Johnny Depp, Christopher Walken, Charles Dutton, and Yul Vasquez

Dave & Johnny: For reasons of which we are not too certain, this film was virtually overlooked by our colleagues in the industry. But, wrongly so. Expertly crafted and shot in "real time," Nick Of Time is a non-stop ride that will make your own ticker race as gripping suspense and superb acting blend to form a theatrical tour de force. Of considerable merit is Yul Vasquez, a young up'n comer who has yet to break into the big time but is destined for superstardom. Yul plays a pivotal role in the dramatic action and shares the screen with all three stars, Depp, Dutton, and Walken. He not only rises to the occasion, but also frames his fate in cinematic history. If you've yet to catch it, you'll be glad we've wised you all to Yul!