interviews

this page was updated on 2014.08.14 @ 23:51:44 CDT

phone interview with Dave Navarro of Spread
conducted by Dominique Falla
Grumpyfish - June, 1998

- So Dave, I guess the first thing people want to know, is what's happening with the record label situation?

I would love to tell you, and believe me I will. However, at this time, it might be harmful to the state of things, if I was to discuss it. I don't know if you know, but I have been sneaking little songs here and there.

- On the Spread website?

Yeah, as RM files...put it this way, Warner Brothers doesn't even know the address of the website.

- Ah, so I guess it's no longer happening with them?

Yeah but it's not because they're disinterested. It's not happening for a lot of other really bizarre political reasons.

- Well I'm sure the story will be very interesting when you can finally tell it.

It's funny, because it's all happening as we speak. I'm still writing the story, right now, like tonight. Me and my friend are writing the saga, as it progresses. You see Dominique...you know what's very difficult about this process?

- What?

It's that Chad has bailed out...

- And so you're doing it all on your own?

Yeah, essentially I'm on my own, I don't have a manager, I don't have a label. All the video stuff, I'm shooting and editing myself, and the web page...I got a couple of people that are helping me, but for the most part I'm doing it myself, and they don't even live here in L.A., so it's really difficult. I'm not trying to say I'm this "Jack of all trades", I'm just saying that, I'm trying to live my life and trying to keep up with questions and the email and the artwork and the the record and video stuff and I was assuming I'd have record label support by now.

They don't even know what I'm doing. They don't understand what the concept behind the album is. They don't understand what I wanted to do with the video stuff, but the thing is, since no one's helped me with it, it's suffering, but you know, I'm still trying, I'm just trying to make something special. The problem that I have, is because the record label promised me something, in turn, I have promised the fan base - promised the listeners - release dates. I've reached a point where enough is enough, and so that is when, you know, every once in a while I try and sneak something out there and try and answer the mail, just in other formats, because it's not fair to the people, it's not fair to me.

- Is that the purpose of the website? To keep the fan interest and let them know what you're doing?

It's not even to keep their interest or tell them it's all still happening - it's because I promised. If there's a legal problem that disables my execution of a promise, then at least I can try and make up for that in another way, because they [the record company] certainly won't. They don't even think there are people who are interested. They don't think that there are people that are aware of it, because of the fact they have done no investigation. So far as they know, it's just my unreleased project that nobody knows about.

- But people are aware of it, that's obvious to anyone.

But that's how removed the record company are. It's not because they don't think it's good, because Warner Brothers is totally behind the music - this is a legal problem. On the one hand, it's nice to have this company like the music, and be behind you, but at the same time, not be able to cut through the legal bullshit, and like, say "look, it really is about the music" and right now, I'm really upset, because the truth of the matter is, the Chili Peppers are out there playing shows, they're now working, but this record was done months ago AND I was on tour with Jane's AND I did all this video stuff and sound files and websites and I've been non-stop working this whole time - as I'm sure you can tell by the way I'm speaking [laughs] - and the end result is that I'm sitting here by myself and the Chili Peppers are out playing shows.

The perception is that I'm just sitting around jerking off all day, when the fact is that I wake up and all day and night is revolving around this project.

- I think though that the fan base is following what you're doing with the website and the chats etc. Online fans are aware that every day there's a new clip or whatever, and you're working on it continuously, and we're glad to be a part of that.

Well that's all that really matters, you know? Because everybody matters, but if the ones that really care, if they're the ones that get frustrated by the delays, then they're the ones I want to make happy, because if the other ones don't feel the frustration, then there's nothing to mend with them.

- How's the band going? I guess that's been put on hold, in terms of recruiting new members.

Yeah, in addition to all the stuff that's going on, it's kind of impossible to start rehearsing.

- If there's no real set release date, and no planned gigs, then there's no real point?

I will promise this will be out by...

- *brrr* Drum roll...

Yeah...I don't know. The thing is, I really wanna do it right, I didn't wait this long to throw it away.

- Of course not.

But I tell ya, I'm not really shooting for big super stardom, but I just want to be honest. You know what? The irony is, that people are sitting there going "His morality is messed up", and there's these judgments they're making...

- Do you wanna talk about that?

Yeah, sure. Those types of judgments, about what my morality is all about, and those types of judgments about how I view and respect the relationship I had, and have with my mother, those are the types of judgments that are based out of fear, and fear is the number 1 defect in the human character, and that's what I'm trying to rid myself of and hopefully convey a message. Like I said on the Spread board, it's not my intention to speak for people.

- What is your intention - with the images that you put up in videos or on the website - because obviously a few people are getting the wrong idea?

I won't answer this question for the people who are curious and potentially have the right idea, and I'm not answering this for the people who think they have the wrong idea. So the images aren't meant to be taken very very literally, and as serious as the message I'm trying to convey is, and as serious as I am about this period of my life and this work, it doesn't mean I don't have a sense of humour any more. And just because I'm talking about some heavy subjects, doesn't mean it has to be heavy, heavy, heavy all the time. I would go nuts.

- And I think people that know enough about you, would realise when you're taking the piss.

To be honest with you, this whole thing about [put's on serious newsreader voice] masturbation pictures alongside his mother...you know pal, what about your mother? [laughs] I'm talking about my mom in these songs a lot, (I answered this on the page), that is symbolic, to me, it's symbolic of everything I've ever lost and missed, because I could be singing about a girlfriend or a best friend that I had in school, or something as trivial as ...you know... a day. I could miss a day!

- Why all the unicorns? What's that all about?

You've seen the cover right?

- Yeah, I've seen MANY cover ideas [laughs].

Well, it's the mother and child one, the color painting...by the way, I have that painting now, in my house.

- So you managed to track down the artist? The last time we spoke about it, you hadn't found him.

Yeah, I found him over the internet.

- Of course...perfect!

I found that painting a long time ago. For a while, I was just collecting unicorn imagery, and putting them in a folder, and then I went through the folder and found the painting that I liked the most, and I couldn't find the artist. So I did a search and wrote an email and sent it to anyone with a unicorn web page that I could find, asking if anyone knew this artist, and someone finally got back in touch with me, and put me in touch with him. So, on top of that, not only is the guy a really great guy, and has become a good friend, it turns out that his dream and ambition, as a painter, came from the urge to do an album cover. He's never done an album cover before.

- Wow, well he has now.

Yeah, and it turns out it was just one of those magical coincidences, and in a sense, the process of doing this is fulfilling what the cover is signifying.

- Oooh...explain that.

O.K. The cover to me, is symbolic of everything that my life has never had.

- Right...which is?

That's open to interpretation [laughs]

- Aaaw [laughs]

That's a pretty literal answer. I can't get more literal, but if you look at it, whatever it says to you, apart from the obvious, like corny, cheesy. You know, those are just adjectives to describe an opinion about the style, but if you go beyond the style and you look at the depiction, you say to yourself "What is the general consensus of the depiction here?" That is what I believe to be the majority of what my life has lacked, and so, when I say that the process is fulfilling what the painting is depicting, what I'm saying is that, that's a magical moment there, that came from finding this artist and, in turn, coming up with an album cover that defines the lack of magic in my life, that gave birth to a magical moment. It gave birth to a lot of magical moments and even though I'm having some trouble right now, with the business side, for the most part, the magic has been overflowing here.

- So do you feel...healed now? As if you've gone through the process?

As in lyrically and the content of the record? There's a guy who wrote me a letter saying "half my family was murdered in front of me and I don't need to [express myself this way]" ...do you know which letter I'm talking about?

- Yeah

Well, first of all, fine, but so what? You know what I mean? I chose to make a record about it. If you wanna make a record about it, then fine, but a) I don't begin to understand what the hell he's talking about with that, and b) this is the way I chose to deal with it. I'm a musician and an artist, and the reason I'm a musician and an artist is because there are some things I feel the need to express, in another format other than the use of vocabulary. So, maybe this guy's great at using vocabulary to get over problems? If that's so, I don't know why he's hunched over a keyboard responding to my silly web page. Like why did I shake something in him so drastically that he felt like it was necessary to respond, if he was over everything so well? O.K. it's not for me to judge him, and I hope he gets whatever he wants in life, whatever he seeks, but for me, as an artist, my job is to put it out there.

- It's a good thing he's done this though, because it's opened up a forum and got people to discuss these issues.

It's a tremendous thing. My thing, is that I'm not afraid to talk about anything, I'm just tired of being afraid, and I'm tired of hiding, and also, in answer to your question, have I been healed? I've not been compelled to write any music or lyrics or stories or images regarding these subjects that are on the Spread record since. It was incredibly cleansing.

- Well that begs the question, what will happen next?

Well that just unfolds as the days go by, I have no idea. I had no idea what would happen next, when I picked up my guitar to write these songs. A really cool thing, for me, as a guitarist is the use of my guitar as a tool of expression. It was very difficult when I was using that tool, alongside someone else's words and feelings. So these are feelings and words that I've had in me for a long long time that I really have been able to vocalise creatively, so this is my first opportunity to. You know, I've been playing music trying to interpret another mans words, to identify with, which is great, but if some of the material seems a bit redundant, or remedial, or going too far back...

- Let's just beat up on ourselves Dave...

Me? No, I just mean for "some". I'm not beating up on myself. I'm very proud of it.

- Oh good, O.K.

I've been beaten up on, by people for this. I say, you know, beat up on me if you want. I've had a lot of years where I haven't been able to open my mouth, so [if you don't like it] don't buy it, and certainly don't return to the web page, I don't understand that. People send in remarks about the poor taste that I've displayed and the lack of morals...

- And yet, they keep coming back, even though they're perfectly aware of what they're going to find when they get there.

Right, exactly, and it's just amusing to me, basically, if they're irritated by this page, don't go there. What kind of a moron would keep returning to a page that dispenses insults? Put it this way, the Jane's Addiction mailing list...I went there once, and I was horrified and insulted and hurt. Why would I go back there? [laughs].

- Well see, you're the smart one! [laughs]

But people are horrified and hurt by my page, yet they return every day. Which is fine with me, at the same time, so long as they learn something about themselves through the hatred they're concentrating on.

- And it's not like you're forcing it down people's throats. They've got to deliberately go there. It's not like they're going to accidentally come across it in a shop.

Absolutely, there's warnings all over it...

- And anyone who knows anything about you, or the concept, is going to be prepared.

There ain't much I'm not going to tell you, that's for sure.

- Aaah, but they're the juicy bits we want to know [laughs]

Yeah, well I'll tell you, you could know 'em all, and I tell you this part. At the end of the day, as much as I'm exposing and sharing and opening up about it....it's a rock record.

- REALLY? [fake surprise] I'd forgotten that.

I know, I mean does anybody remember that? It's just music.

- But you see, it's not yet. Nobody's got that in a tangible rock record format yet. It's a website and some snippets of sounds and gossip and conversation. That's all it is at the moment.

I know, but I've never seen this much [fuss before].

- But it's great isn't it? This is what you want. Interest...people can't wait now for the record to come out.

Absolutely, in fact, there is no record. [laughs]

- So it's all an elaborate hoax?

I just wanna keep people interested for a long time. [laughs]

- "This Dave guy, he's such an enigma - what record?"

I'm gonna change the title to Spread thin and it's gonna be stretched out until the year 2000.

Anyway, I'm rambling, ask another question.

- You said before, "I promise it will be released by..." and then you didn't say a date.

That's because I couldn't promise that. [laughs]

- So you can only promise that you can't promise it?

I think I started trying to please everybody, and then I realised I was just gonna lie to you, and I don't wanna lie.

- So what's left to perfect?

The record industry. [laughs]

- Well why don't you just start your own record label?

I intend to.

- So what's stopping you?

What's stopping me is copyright laws, ownership of the master tapes, especially these in particular. I could go out tomorrow and start a record label, and release anyone elses record. That's no problem.

- Isn't this the same label that Prince had all that trouble with?

Guess who was born on the same day as Prince?

- Who?

Me.

- You're kidding? I don't believe you.

Go look it up.

- I will, that's bizarre.

It's amazing huh? You wanna know something else? When I'm walking around in New York, with that furry coat I have on, I will tell you 3 out of 10 people think I'm Prince. I swear to you.

- O.K. [laughs] NOW you are shitting me!

It's the absolute, god's honest truth. Maybe not 3 out of whatever, but if I had a dollar for every time someone thought I was Prince...I would have, probably $18. [laughs]

- Uh-huh? Are you that short? Maybe they think you're Prince with his boots on?

Well, you know people don't know how short he is on TV.

- Well that's true, actually, when I saw him live, I was surprised by exactly how short he was. So if people have never seen him, then they wouldn't know. Well you learn a new thing every day. I would never have thought that.

- The other thing I was wondering - obviously it's all up in the air - but is the video going to be a separate thing? Or is the CD going to be "enhanced" now? Or will we just have to watch it on the website?

Here's what I have to end up doing, now that I literally have no technical support. I'm literally shooting the footage, loading it into my computer, editing it on my computer...

- So it might not be good enough quality to make into a video after that?

Well I wouldn't mind if it was "home-made" looking, because that's the true nature of it, but I'm doing it and editing it myself, but I'm also converting it into Real files myself, and I've never done that before, so it's a whole new process. Instead of being able to show a consecutive running film, which was my original dream, what's going to happen [now] is that I'm just gonna put up the clips as I make them, and as they come. There will be a theme, I mean, there is a theme, the theme of the record is, I hope, evident by now. I mean, I view it as a very positive message, and most of the people who come across it and give it a listen or two, realise how dark the content is.

- I think we're all pretty aware of why.

Yeah, but the message is, however horrible or great or wonderful or lucky anyone's life is...I'm just so lucky to be in the position I'm in, and I have to be grateful for it. And that applies to a lot of things for me.

So basically I'm gonna put up the clips and they aren't going to be back to back, or consecutive, but when I have shown everything that I have - which will hopefully take about a year - then I would release it on a home video. The thing is, I would like to see the clips from now, until the release...I'm gonna try and keep them interesting, and ongoing and then, when the release comes, I'm gonna try and keep them current, as it goes on.

- Like a video diary almost?

Right. That would be the best way to describe it. That's a great choice of words.

I've half a mind to just put it [the record] out there for free. I really do.

- But wouldn't that still infringe the copyright problems?

Sure it would.

- And then you'd be in court for the next five years?

It would be infringing the copyright, I would be in court, I would give up rock star perks, so to speak, but you know what? It might just be worth it.

- Do you think?

I dunno. I'm 31 years old now, I've been incredibly successful in two big rock bands, which is incredibly lucky...

- So you want to piss it against the wall now? Don't you want to build on that? That should be the goal.

Is it?

- Yes.

Why?

- Because this is what most humans strive to do. They take a step, and then the next step should be higher.

But that's saying that the goal is self serving.

- Yes it is. Well who are you serving then?

I understand that people, by nature, are self serving, and of course...but you gotta understand, doing this record to begin with is incredibly self serving.

- Yeah, so why not follow through? Continue the process and have closure.

Then that's focussing on the wrong goal. My goal with this was to experience, to work on a project, to be creative and find some inner insight through the creativity, and the other way is saying "I wanna be a famous rad guy" [laughs] I see bands like that come and go, I see artists like that come and go. Their focus is on the rewards, not the process.

I will admit to you that I used to be more reward driven, I think I said that to you before somewhere, I used to be driven by the rewards of rock music, and the girls, and the cars, and the fancy stuff, but this [Spread] is something that I really believe in and really comes from my heart 100%. Now of course I would love to have the rewards from this, of course. Of course I would love to make money and be a really famous fancy guy...

- But that's not what's driving you?

But that's not what the drive is. Exactly.

- So why not just put the whole record on the website, and then those people would have it?

Well I am trying to do that, whilst at the same time, abiding by the laws and rules of this country. I may not agree with them, but I still have to abide by them. It's only until I get pushed far enough that I can start to break them randomly. But that's why.

What? Are you trying to catch me...what? [laughs] Are you against me now? [laughs]

- I'm being probing. [laughs] Enquiring minds want to know...I just want to stir up a little controversy.

I don't like it anymore than anybody else does. Because people could have heard this record a year ago, if I just wanted to do it like that, and I would have loved to...you know what? I have another album's worth of material written.

- Well that's good!

So far as the next goal, I would really like get deeper into film. And I'm also putting together a book.

- Ooh, what about?

Well, it's non-fiction, but it's not necessarily auto-biographical.

- [laughs] Isn't that an oxymoron? What's it about then? Someone elses life?

No, but it's chapters and episodes within my life's experiences, that will be written about and depicted as short stories.

- So snippets, not the whole thing?

Right, and there's also going to be creative elements within the book as well, because I just don't feel good about suggesting my life alone is interesting enough.

- But as a basis for a work of fiction...

Yeah, put it this way. I'm sitting and writing about my life now, but at least I'm putting it to music, doing it in a format that's pleasant, and hopefully there are some stories that I could share with some people that would be interesting to them, but also this book is a book of photographs, more or less.

- Photos that you'll stage and set up? Or photos that already exist?

You will see, they're happening as we speak.

If you go to Chad's spotlight, you'll get a taste of what I'm talking about. But I'm going to take it down soon.

- Speaking of Chad, is everything still amicable with the Peppers?

I don't choose to comment on that.

- O.K. Enough said...[laughs]

Here's what I will say about that. Everything is amicable with me and John Frusciante...

- Ow!

Ow?

- That's a big statement.

...because the way I see it, John Frusciante is an honest man.

- Why?

Well, he has yet to lie to me. [laughs]

- How am I supposed to write this down Dave? Can you tell me that? [laughs] How am I supposed to put this in print?

How do you mean? [laughs]

- Well I can't just leave all these pregnant pauses and let the reader fill in for themselves.

Oh that's so much half the fun, you know it is. [laughs]

- And it leaves you open to 99% misinterpretation.

It's half the fun, put it in the street out there and let's see what happens.

- Oh, O.K., the Marilyn Manson "controversy" is clear to me now. [laughs]

Seriously, I'm not saying that it's not amicable either, just put it that way. I would never, ever in a million years say anything against the guys. Being in that band is totally responsible for...[well] not totally, but it's one of the main reasons I'm in the position I'm in now, and I'm totally grateful to them and my experiences with them, and all I've ever really wanted to do was make the music I wanted to make and I'm able to do that [now], and I'm still discovering what that is, because I've never really made just the music I wanted to make.

- Are you enjoying this most of all?

I'm closest to this most of all. Of course Jane's Addiction was my first love. To be in that band was probably the most exciting thing. I could never come close to that again, so I don't try. The cool thing is, when I stopped trying a long time ago, when Jane's broke up, I said to myself, don't try to do this again, because you'll never get it again, and what happened, was we got it again. I got to do it again.

- Was it as good?

It was different. It was better for me in some ways, I was just more mature. I was able to access and enjoy the beauty that something like that generates, and when I was younger, I wasn't able to to even be aware of it, or appreciate it. I was such a little drug jerk. [laughs] I'm an insecure person and people like me either think they're the greatest thing in the world, or the lowest pond scum on the planet.

I'm learning how to balance that now. I'm learning to be just one of the souls on the planet, but I still teeter back and forth. For the most part, I'm pretty balanced on that. It still rears it's head on me, it's still a factor about myself, but back in those old days, [was] before I was able to balance it at all. I was so young back then.

You know Stephen Perkins and I attended Jane's first show? As audience members, and then the next show, he and I actually played, and from then on, it just became a whirlwind, and I was basically a child, and ended up on the road as a child and I grew up on the road, so I learned a lot, and I had to mature pretty rapidly - but I guess what I'm getting at, is this time around I had become somewhat seasoned, and so I was able to have that experience as an adult and really utilise it, and in that sense, I was truly able to destroy myself the right way. [laughs]

- So you were conscious this time, of what you were doing?

I was fully able to destroy myself in the way it was meant to be executed. [laughs]

- That's good to know you got it right the second time around. [laughs]

Yeah, the first time, you know, it just didn't work. I'd wake up and I'd be safely in bed. [laughs] But I will tell you, I've been watching some clips from that film we've been putting together. It's a semi-documentary.

- Is it still called Three Days?

For the time being, yeah sure. We're all really excited about it. It's coming together really nicely.

- So is it going to be released in the next couple of months?

I couldn't tell ya. I haven't been down at the offices as of late. The last I heard, that was the intention.

- Is it gonna have backstage stuff as well?

Sure, yeah, but you know, it's not going to be your typical rock movie, which I'm really excited about, not like throwing bottles around, and chicks...

- and pissing in the dressing room?

Yeah, there's nothing like that. It really captures the spirit of that tour, and in a weird way, to me, it almost depicts the same types of situations and feelings that ended up being the demise of the band the first time around.

- Oh god!

But not in a negative way, I'm not viewing it in a negative way at all. It's almost in an intellectual, analytical way and it's very interesting. It's not because we destroyed ourselves again and hated each other, because we loved each other the whole way through and there was never a problem between any of the members, and that was really amazing. That was because we were all really mature - well, they were and I was trying my best to keep up. [laughs]

- Why did you then say that Eric Avery was the smartest man on the planet [for not joining the relapse]?

Oh that was just a joke. It sounds pretty funny doesn't it?

- He thought it was hysterical.

You told Eric?

- Yeah, I told him and his manager. They thought it was hilarious.

Oh that's great! I was hoping it would get back to him. You know what? That's the kind of thing that he would...especially him, he would understand why that's so funny.

- Well there you go. He did.

Thank you so much for telling him.

- O.K. so how about you explain some of the videos on the Spread site?

Why does there have to be a deep reason?

- Well how about a shallow reason?

There's none...O.K. Let me put it this way. Andy Warhol is my favourite painter. If I said to him, "Why the flowers?" His answer would be, "because I liked them."

- Ah, O.K. You know his paintings of Campbell's Soup cans? Repeated over and over in rows?

Yeah.

- Well the reason for those, was that every day for 20 years, he'd go to work and for lunch, he'd have a can of Campbell's soup, everyday, and that's where his repetition idea came from. So there's a reason.

That's amazing. Well, here we go. I will give you my simple answer. These are all things that affect me one way or another. For a start, "Venus in Furs," "Somebody Else," "Hungry" and "Mourning Son"...they're all images I put to songs that I wrote.

- Yeah, O.K. they're the video clips, simple. Umm, O.K. Rockinfreakapotamus HQ, some guy bashing a computer. What's that all about?

That's just funny, I mean, imagine that's the guy in the office of Rockinfreakapotamus. Someone sent me that clip and I looked at it and I thought, "Wow, I bet that's how they feel over at Rockinfreakapotamus HQ."

- O.K. What about the kid getting hit by the train?

Oh my god, that's intense isn't it?

- It is intense.

But it's not a kid, it's a woman. Make sure you write that down. Make it clear it's a woman, not a child. That was just a tape someone gave me recently and I edited a version of "Not 4 Nothing" together in its entirety, and I used that piece of footage, for that line which is "free ride".

- It's also in the Carpenters clip. Why did you take that down?

I mainly took it down because I was nervous that people would think I was making fun of the [skeletal] person [dancing] in the film, which I wasn't. The way I'm viewing that, is that the woman dancing, that's somebody called the Goddess Bunny, and it's actually a man.

- Oh really?

The Goddess Bunny is a transsexual dancer and the thing is, I'm obviously not making fun...that is his gig. He dresses up and get's campy and dances, and that is the footage of that person dressed up, entertaining.

- Do you want to know the way I read that clip?

Yeah.

- Because Karen Carpenter was an anorexic, and there was Carpenter's music playing whilst the Goddess Bunny tap-danced, I kinda got the impression you were taking the piss out of Karen Carpenter.

Oh that's true too...it wasn't so much that I was taking the piss out of Karen Carpenter, it was that I played that footage to a friend of mine and he was like "Oh my god that's horrible, what is this?" and he was stunned and shocked - and frankly...so was I, the first time I saw it - and just out of left field, because my sense of humour works that way, I said "this is the long lost Carpenter's footage" [laughs] just to fuck with him, and he believed me, I had him going all night. I go "she's actually still alive, she's trying to make a comeback" [laughs]

The thing is, I love the Carpenters, when I grew up, my parents used to play them all the time and it became a big part of my life and so I ended up going to the computer and one thing led to another and I ended up syncing them together.

But the main thing that made me take it down was because I kept seeing people talk about "the game, the game" you know? "How do I solve it?" The idea that they were sitting at home, struggling with these clues, trying their hardest for hours, trying to get in there, and that's what they get!! I was like "that's horrible!" [laughs] you know what I mean? I'm just going "Oh no!".

- That's just so funny.

It is funny, speaking of funny, you should go see the Sex with Dave page right now.

- Oh, O.K. why?

It's game 3 right?...here we go [starts surfing]...what are the clues for game 2 again? Game 3's easy. ****** ****?

- No Dave, it's ****** ****

[typing sounds] Oh that's just my ejaculating penis, that's of no interest to anybody. O.K. What's game 1? How do I get in there again? I don't understand.

- It's ***** and then ******* with no "s".

O.K. I got in, oh yeah, it's just that picture of me on the bed.

- Is it? I haven't been there for a few days, I don't remember.

You know, the black and white one from Alternative Press, of me on the bed?

- Oh yeah, I love that one.

Well I have that above my bed really, the entire ceiling above my bed is that picture...[pause for effect] I'm kidding. Could you imagine? Coming into my room and that's above the bed?

- That's great, I'm going to print that. "Dave has a giant picture of himself above his bed."

NOOOOO, don't say that - there are no photos of me anywhere in this house.

- They're all on your computer right? [laughs]

But I tell you this, I bought a photo booth. What do you think of that?

- A real photo booth? In your house?

I made a page, go have a look.

- O.K. I will.

Oh and finally, could you maybe tell people that I formally apologise for not getting to everybody's mail as quickly and thoroughly as I possibly can?

- Well I think they would understand.

I hope so, and I appreciate that they do.